Content Under Pressure

You may have noticed a bit of chopping and changing here on Bar Harukiya in recent months, as I try and find things to write about whilst we continue to try and see out the COVID-19 pandemic. When I originally created this place, back on WordPress servers, I wanted to do a few things with it:

  • Discuss mental health
  • Praise and bring attention to things I enjoy
  • Provide some insight into my way of thinking
  • Have some regular themed content

I didn’t want it to become just another reviews site, that’s one reason I don’t attach review scores to things that I do review. I’ve been there, done that, though its easy content to fall back on. I have no issue with them being the bulk of my content, particularly during these trying times, but they do add some element of pressure to produce, but that’s not the only area that pressure to write is applied and those other elements have come from my decision making.

The most obvious one is Final Fantasy  IX playthrough, I’ll be honest and admit that I do feel a certain weight to keep going and trying to put something down on here each week, though I’ve not always been successful in that. Progress on the game is slow, namely due to me writing stuff down and more often than not I’m distracted by other things. I’ve not updated my progress in a couple of weeks and that’s purely down to me not making any interesting progression through the game. There’s little point in me making a quick update saying “this week I’ve just been grinding Grand Dragons to get everyone to around level 60 and have them all learn the abilities they can from the gear I have”, I’ve done that already and that’s exactly where I’m at now, I think Vivi has one more ability to learn so this coming Thursday should see a proper update on that.

I suppose there’s an element of setting myself up to fail, and that’s a difficult trap to get out of, I purposely avoid looking at the stats for this place and don’t promote it as much as I could and often run with things that I then struggle to keep on top of.

Case in point my “A Realm Restarted” Final Fantasy XIV thing, I began to fall behind the group, firstly because I was reading everything and writing it all down to translate into something for here, then because the way the others were playing begun to change and then the Formula 1 season started. I felt under pressure to just try and keep up and I was going against the very reason I joined in with that whole idea: To play through with others, but not to neglect my main. So I’ve dropped that and am back to just enjoying the game again, having finally finished the Stormblood expansion on Friday night. It’s nice to just have a game there that I can use just for winding down and not have that pressure there to turn it into something creative, which is one of the big reasons I haven’t committed to streaming on Twitch.

This whole thing, the website, is a process for me, its something I loves doing. I enjoy writing, be it something as passionate as my Ubisoft piece or sharing and praising something I love. Writing is something that’s become a real hobby of mine and an outlet for my mental health, it allows me to either get stuff off my chest or just focus on something positive, and so, that means I’ll continue to experiment with new ideas (such as my Hitchcock watch), because even though I’m finding it increasingly difficult to get my thoughts together whilst the kids are at home and refusing to sleep (seriously, they’re up at 6:30 am and despite going to bed at around 7 pm, they’re often constantly trying to get my attention until 10:30 pm, with all the time in between being a constant wall of noise).

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